Wednesday, May 12, 2010


A challenging Monday had yet to come not 'til Evi, a friend of mine asked me what I learn in going to the Bible study. I was surprised with myself finding it difficult to answer. Not because I had learned none, but because what I've learned is so complex that I know it'd be hard for him to understand or maybe I was afraid that no matter what I answer him, it'd be just a big "BLAH!" since in the first place, he ain't into those stuff... or not just him as a matter of fact. Let's admit it, for almost every person, anything about God is such a bore.

So as I was on my way now to a rehearsal, I would like to contemplate on what I truly learned. There are so many things that I've learned that I find it hard to begin.

I guess it's best to start based on my first hand experiences with God. One thought that umbrellas my ideas goes like this... "God works in mysterious ways." Most of the time in my life, struggles were there. The only difference is, whether they were big or small. Nevertheless, they're still struggles.

There were times I felt worthless since my family didn't get the chance to show me they were proud of me. From finishing up school with good marks, graduating as a nurse, winning a lot of titles and awards, to landing a job overseas as a performer, I find it still not meeting their expectations of me. I struggle in living my life independently. "On my own"..... let me reiterate that. Even the things that I know a lot of single people are compelled to like living on their own with a satisfactory job (more promising and stable than the ones in the Philippines), is a matter of fact, hard and an understatement for me now that I'm actually living it. Sometimes, it gets too overwhelming that the least that you need is somebody who'd make you feel worse with their own accomplishments and achievements. More of than not, I'm surprised that I don't feel happy about myself even though I'm more than capable to survive.

With all these challenges, rejections, and pressure come the needs. And the most common wish that people would come up with is happiness, either thru contentment, success or simply, peace.
It's hard to attain all of these when you're alone.

Now, this is where my answer to Evi comes in. What I have learn so much of the Bible study are two things that most of us tend to neglect. HOPE AND FAITH. That everything happens for a reason, the the Almighty is using me to liven up His will, and that He never fails to give me an opportunity to choose the right attitude that goes with every situation. That no matter how hard life could be, there's always hope and you always have to keep the faith. Because if not for the truth in the words of God, I know I'll be the biggest screw-up ever. His question made me realize that my life ain't bad after all. I will continue to do my best at everything and maybe all of these things that I'm not satisfied with are just but temporary. In the long run, perhaps it'll serve me not to take anything for granted --- the friends that I've gained, growth that I've gone thru and the journey that I experienced. I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

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