Monday, September 01, 2014


Warning: This could be too much. But it's reality.

Disclaimer: All experiences vary from one mom to another, this is solely my own experience.

OK! I swore to myself I'd write about my entire pregnancy down to the every bit of having the baby born. But, I'm sure there are a lot of books already that could provide you that so I decided on just sharing what information I got hold of right on the very time it was happening. I aim to be positive but some items maybe pretty gross. Here goes nothing...

1. Of course you have read about having that glow when you get pregnant and feeling oh so like Stepford Wife almost pretty. Ha! Wait 'til the morning sickness comes. In my own experience (and every succeeding item would be based on my "own" experience only), I've had evening sickness and was I a pain in the ass. I have a problem with my husband just basically heating the pan with oil. Literally not cooking anything yet. I've sent him out once; the second time it happened, he thought of just ordering a take out. When he did (get all that were my favourites: Lemon Chicken, Roasted Pigeon, Yang-Chow Chao Fan - the authentic Chinese fried rice), I just ate a little, puked it in the end and basically slept off my hunger only for me to complain to him the next morning. I'm pretty sure he didn't see any glow in that moment except that I was just really experiencing the early symptoms of pregnancy.

2. Yes, I said "early" symptoms. Because as my belly grew, they didn't actually emphasise on how big of an expansion your tummy is still in during  the third trimester right before the eviction (delivery) happens. In addition, there was no book that can guide you as to how a half Samoan baby could grow thru the third trimester. Basically, this is my everyday conversation with people:

In the supermarket, at work, at home and in restaurants.
Name the place, there's always one person who
bravely asks. I almost answered, "WALK AWAY."

Just a guide for expectant moms and
to the ones planning to have a baby.
I remember posting a link (10 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman) about what are the inappropriate comments referring to pregnant women on Facebook but some people don't get the message. One piece of advice, have a read to be aware and to avoid getting into the other pregnant woman's nerves.

3. Given the fact that Samoans are muscular and strong in nature, they emit an extreme amount of heat resulting their active metabolism. This was just from my personal assumption in observing my husband's remarkable metabolism. I was warned of the heat I'm about to deal with as I'm due August 15 and boy it was TREMENDOUSLY HOT!!! I was secretly thanking God that I had to miss this one summer from doing the parade. Or maybe that's just because of my hormones too but it was truly, utterly HOT that I thought I was prepared of how hot it could get, but NO.

4. There are also other things that you would unexpectedly encounter. Such as colleagues at work giving you an odd statement that you don't know how to consider it of whether it's a compliment or an insult. As I remember it now, it could all be treated alright with humour. But way back then, WHILE I WAS PREGNANT and a surge of hormones were passing thru my veins, I don't know how many people I wanted to die in my mind. Ahahahaha! That being said, I would like to blame nothing else but the hormones. It is what it is when it comes to being pregnant.

I remember, I always find quotes in Pinterest as I let time pass by and as much as I can, I apply it to my own self. Meditating away from harvesting strong feelings for murder. Some sort of meditation. It works in the beginning but there's always a certain moment when you'll be mad at a certain degree.

For example, no meditation could help me let go a wrongly packed sandwich. When you specifically wanted a double cheese grilled sandwich only to find it was packed without the cheese. I wanted to lit the lady on fire. LOL!

Also, your tummy will become a hand magnet whether you like it or not. At first, I was alright with it. But not until contractions happened during the delivery day, my friend was trying to soothe me but it was just not helping at all. The nesting in me shoots up to the highest level and I suddenly am protective of myself, my baby and my environment where I would be delivering.

5. Delivery day, the day that you've waited, prepared and longed for finally comes. The deliver OF THE BABY was what you expected. But they didn't really orient you that something will be delivered firstly than THE BABY. Remember how I wanted to be in control of my environment? Well, I had talked to my husband, warning him that I may want to be in control once immense pain will come. At 5cm cervix dilatation, I was taking over. While contractions are steadily felt like no other physical pain history have recorded.

I will lay it all to you, there will be poop. The head of the baby literally gets everything out of its way to be delivered. To help you understand, poop will be delivered first. So, I thought I could be in control of that but heck no. I had to ask my husband to go out during my practice pushes because I was just so shy. He was supportive though so he did. And so was the circulating nurse as she forgave me a million times as I apologised, "You don't deserve to see this." LOL!!!!

6. So, you've surpassed them all already. The magic that they say would erase every painful thing you've gone thru in a snap (as you can see) is very true. So, as far as how the episiotomy is repaired, I didn't feel anything. All that my senses had focused automatically onto, was my baby. Proof?

Yes, believe it or not, I'm being stitched up right at this very moment. It's better than pixie dust, some bibideebabideeboo and voila. It's the baby's powerful aura which this quote could be undoubtedly compared to.

A good friend of ours, Marie Vega Tiamson who had been very supportive from the very beginning, had left us this message on the wall...

"And a new journey begins. Congratulations Kyte and Hogan.
Well done mommy kyte. Find time to rest. See you soon Brave.
Now you'll both know how to fall in love all over again.
You'll understand the true meaning of selfless kind of love.
God bless your family." 

And I 100% agree that that is what's going to do to you. Such bliss though is priceless.

7. Here comes the selfless kind of love. You want to do everything for the baby, you practically get worried every time. Combined with the depleting hormones and your body recuperating, you can't help but weep. And I mean WEEP. Weep over silly things. And the way it could attack you is unimaginable. I am so aware of how postpartum blues occur by observing it from all of my friends, from my patients before in Nursing school and by text book. But it just feels totally different when you're the one experiencing it. Sometimes I already get mad at myself for being so vulnerable. But like how everybody puts it, THIS TOO SHALL PASS. And Imma just letting it pass as of the present. Thank God (I thank Him endlessly for all of what I have surpassed for the past 2 weeks.) for a very patient husband. He just reminds me that, "It's both our first time going hands on in taking care of a baby. Don't cry. And don't be too hard on yourself." Hearing that just makes me rejuvenated or instantly oiled up from doing all that has to be done.

8. To the new moms and moms to be, don't be shocked if you'd be seeing a vampire baby at some point.

Breastfeeding could be a workload at first. But trust as I have trusted. BREASTFEEDING IS BEST FOR BABIES and no other formula is. I've been obsessed with this thought though that I may have abused my nipples' capacity to cope. Of course, being new to breastfeeding may leave your nipples cracked and overused making it prone to bleeding. Take it easy, know that the milk you're expecting (full consistency) don't come 'til 3-4 days though your nipples somehow have to sense that there is a human being that needs them. And you have to take advantage of the colostrum which could benefit your baby in terms of fighting gut problems, infection and it passes some immunoglobulins that your baby might be needing as first line of defense for the whole GIT (gastrointestinal tract). It won't take long for the nipples to heal. Make the best out of the experience thru a calm approach. Think of your personal welfare as well. Breastfeeding is supposed to feel good. If latching on or the whole process stings, listen to your body and give it a rest for a day.

In addition, breastfeeding channels good bonding moments between the mom and the child. As per personal experience, I get to observe how my daughter grows bigger and bigger and faster and faster everyday. It had just been 11 days and she had grown tremendously. This somehow gives me relief that I am able to give her needs. I don't know if other moms see this in their child but right after each breastfeeding, my child's face lights up in a certain way than when she finishes a bottle feed. She seems amazingly satisfied by showing her glistening charming huge black eyes.

But going back to my point, nobody warned me that they could really make it bleed due to too much sucking most especially when you let them suck in more than 20 minutes which happened to me. The moment I unlatched Brave off my tit, there she had blood in the mouth. No wonder it hurt unbearably. Remember, you cannot take care of your baby if you're not feeling good yourself.

9. Sleepless nights are one thing. You'll be surprised as how you'd be able to cope up willingly to it. But I literally freaked out when one sleepless night turned the stress meter a little higher. At 3am, after feeding my baby, I went to change her diapers but the next thing I see, blood in my little girl's diaper. I immediately observed my daughter if she was in pain but she had her mouth wide open while asleep during the diaper change. So, I went over some google information (as it was the most handy at that very hour) after putting her back to sleep. I almost had a panic attack until I read that this is to be expected as baby girls depend on the mommy's hormones in developing their genitals for the whole 9 months. NOBODY EVER TALKED ABOUT THIS! I was so relieved in understanding that her own period will not last too long. Whew!

10. Lastly, the baby's breathing pattern could also alarm you. Their breath sounds could be perceived as the congested kind. But know that your baby during its first week is adjusting to their environment. From not breathing in the womb to grasping their first breath of air to adjusting to their actual living environment, hence, the abnormal breath sounds. Just watch out for any change after a week and it is still best to have them checked out within 10-14 days just for a wellness check up.

There you go, a fair share of what I wish I could've known earlier because having your senses awakened at 3am because of being freaked out on something could be very stressful. Or perhaps I didn't research that much despite a weekly news update from all these baby apps. Also, being a mom makes you a worrier automatically. Nonetheless that's how you develop the superhero senses. And the emotion invested as you learn these mommy skills, make you sensitive in a more purposeful way. You learn the basics of nurturing, you understand life even more and you become a better version of you. You get to prioritise efficiently, you instantly get hold of time management skills, you perceive important tasks faster leaving the procrastinating you of the yesteryears and everything makes sense and has meaning all of a sudden. And that's the best feeling ever despite getting freaked out so many times.

Related posts:

1. PHOENIX SEILEAFI BRAVE - What our name for our little girl means.

2. MONTBLANC "I TELL STORIES" - Hugh Jackman's storytelling capabilities... check it out!

3. 9 MONTHS PREGNANT AND STILL DANCING - Check out how Mary Helen Bowers danced all thru out her pregnancy.

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